Blog de Vinictuss

The shadows illuminate me...

I hide, every day. I walk through society with a smile on my face, but inside, my heart is broken. The truth is, I struggle to accept myself. I see people proud of their families and I wonder, anxiously: "Will I ever have that for myself?"

The shadows around me whisper a cruel "No!" They mock me: "How can you have a family? You are gay, have inclinations towards violence, are sadistic, masochistic, and on top of that, you have this weird fetish for strangulation."

They accuse me, saying that I don't know what love is. And for a long time, I believed them. These conversations with my inner shadows were my only refuge, until I found myself utterly alone.

One day, I met someone who shared the same desires, someone who could understand the complexity of my being. But our relationship was nothing more than a friendship. I was back in the darkness, more lost than ever.

Now, I find myself at a crucial phase in my life. I need to dive into the shadows within me, confront these demons, and rescue the Vinícius who knows how to love and accept himself. It's a frightening journey, but a necessary one.

I know that the day I manage to rescue that part of me, I will be able to find true love. I have learned that self-love is the first step to conquering any other form of love. I am ready for this journey, ready to find myself.

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Ultima modifica su 19/11/2023 21:33 da Vinictuss
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Commenti

6

BamaJDon41 (10 )

19/11/2023 22:26

Everyone has a journey to love. It seems so easy for some. For others, not so much. Safe travels.

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toughfighter mike (28 )

20/11/2023 5:59

You're rare, but not alone. Thank you for sharing something extremely vulnerable and hopeful that really connected with and inspired me, but was also so eloquently written and poetic.

Make the best of who you are and good hunting.

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Merseywrestle (58 )

20/11/2023 18:05

All life is a journey from birth to our last breath there will be many roads that walk and doors to open. For some it will be plain sailing for others like myself it's full of darkness but you have to walk those roads to get to your heart' s place, for me that's looks like a cosy room with a roaring fire where I will be me. So keep going Vinictuss ❤️

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Juggernaut (0)

21/11/2023 21:23

There are basically two types of people in the world: The first is responsible for invention, creativity and the expansion of knowledge and information. The other half simply exists to overpopulate the world with offspring

If it makes you feel any better, almost everybody gets married. But only a relatively small percent ever stay married. In fact, half of all marriages breakup within the first 5 years. I seriously doubt if 99% of the population has any clue of what love is, or how to achieve it.

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theventure (13)

30/11/2023 20:11

Humans are complex. We can be at once loving, kind, providing, and at the same time, have sexual sadomasochistic tendencies. We don’t have to be one or the other, but we can be integrated. As long as these inclinations to act out these ‘violent’ tendencies occur in the context of two consenting adults there is no problem.

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Juggernaut (0)

01/12/2023 2:24

(In risposta a questo)

"Humans are complex"? If you say so. In my view, they are surprisingly one-dimensional with rare exception.

I've been summoned for jury duty twice and served fully the second time. One of the few things in life that truly frighten me is hearing the words – "a jury of your peers."

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